09/21/2005 - Letter to Mike

We all go through whatever it is we need to do to
become who we are. It's not always easy, and it's not
always what we want, but we always know deep down what
we need. And if that's what you needed then, I
understand.

I am having a very hard time right now. I ran away
from L.A. to a very lonely place. I hate it so much.
But I had to do it because something inside me told me
I had to leave. I was somewhat lost there... I'm even more lost now.


But the future is exciting, right? That's what this is
all about. You're in my future.

Friendship is just another oscillating frequency. You
might not feel like you can relate to us sometimes.
Sometimes you feel so alienated... it's disturbing
when you're surrounded by 'friends' and you feel like
a stranger.

Other times, when you don't even expect
it- -BAM- You're floating alone in the universe and
there's this hand on your shoulder, and our
frequencies sync, and you realize you're not alone...
you realize that there's so much love, and that most
of the time, you're not as alone as you think, the wiring is just
jumbled and you can't seem to find a port to connect
to.

I really miss you too, Mike. More than you realize.
I'm not "those people". I'll always love you very
much, and I'll always be here for you when you need me
to, whenever that time comes. I'm sorry, too. I wasn't
around much either, I was so busy with school- and I
thought my life was hard then- it's so much harder
now!