2004 - Open Eyes Connect

I wrote this on an old grocery list while driving a cab in L.A. It started out as a letter to someone, and just kind of went from there...


I hope that when you're dreaming you can hear the thoughts that I intend for you. I'm sure you can.. I know you're catching them in the peripheral vision of your dreaming mind's eye because they are instantaneous and numerous as the phenomenon of two things happening at once.

I looked in the mirror this morning at my tired face decorated with darkened fingerprints of the things I've seen under my eyes and little telltale wrinkles around the corner of my mouth written like a roadmap testament to the joys that I've encountered. These are the battle wounds of fighting to feel alive. I want to take your hand and float with you- I want to feel life like a California breeze against my face- cool and calm, and well traveled over oceans. When you and I connect I can feel all tension disappear and the richness of the moment is suddenly thick enough to cradle me and float me along like a raft on rapid waters, finally giving me a chance to enjoy the view while still soaking wet from trying to keep from drowning.


Those moments are unifying, I think. Those moments make sense. It's like turning the focus on a camera- you're not so sure this is the best image you can get... everything is an approximation of everything.. until you touch your fingers lightly.. waiting.. a millimeter of a turn and you just know, at that moment, that things couldn't be clearer. Those times we can't seem to understand each other we are just taking another half step and turn in the dance that we are moving our bodies and minds to every second, a conga line formed by our inescapable relationship with time- fluctuating in the no-particular broken pattern that inevitably forms in a world of endless variables, pulsating to the rhythm of life.

I closed my eyes just now in a half-sleep to watch the frequencies that embody you and I vibrate and play tag together- I turn my head a bit to turn the image of it around in my mind... it is an endless spiraling landscape of jagged edges and heart soaring loops, I see calm waves, voluptuous curves, sines, cosines, tangents.. even the occasional flat line. There are kinks and knots and curves and side by side our minds echo vibrations that mimic the maniacal laughter of utter chaos.

But when I stack our wavelengths parallel, along with as many people's as I can imagine- and as you can imagine, there are more than you or I combined could ever imagine- I run my fingers vertically feeling, strumming the guitar strings of a unified whole, striking a cord that plays a melody so rich I drop to my knees and sob- which moment was that? It had to have been that one, so very rare moment every billion years that our collective consciousness could have reverberated so beautifully in my mind that I could taste it, feel it, smell it and see it all at the same time so vividly I'd venture to say that I KNOW it... and it renders me incapacitated, tongue lolling, speechless, in a state of ecstacy.

I want to live that moment forever. I want to crawl into it and revel in its glory- it is the absolute perfect. I've experienced it now and I know it's there- it's the glorious IT, it's that moment I KNOW you know, because each of our moments moved in harmony then, we felt that little vibration whispering against the back of our necks and we all smiled, just a little inside, even if it didn't show, even if we were just shuffling down the street thinking a no-thought.

I want it again to keep it forever so desperately I run my fingers horizontally over time and the guitar strings of our souls squeal with delight, tickled, and I do too, because my fingertips have morphed into my eyes opening to survey a landscape incalculable by X and Y axes- so bumpy, so broken and so beautiful and wild that it is ridiculous to think that time had even a finger's grasp on it- which brings me suddenly to a realization that folds into itself, screaming "1+1= YES!" and other such nonsenses because some third eye has opened that is gleefully watching the shackles of time fall from my wrists. I am truly free to move about every sad memory and worry of my future and see the beauty of it like two colors juxtaposed on the cheek of an angel in a Botticelli painting to produce that incomparable blush-

a pause-

and winded with all this I feel approaching a hint of the kind of smile that lies behind teary eyes threatening always to break surface tension, and overflow in all directions- I know that it's happening now at the exact moment that two lovers are meeting and feel that particular elation and fear... right now someone is losing, someone is winning, and fortune and fate are dancing under the moonlight, trembling together, swaying and turning together bejeweled by sparkling tears of sorrow and joy, painted with the blood of pain and smiling in a way that sunlight breaks through the clouds and makes you think "God... or something like it"

It is a beautiful dance to the beat of Everymoment- and it is INSPIRING. So take my hand and dance with me under the stars and make me shut up so we can experience together this feeling that can't be described by words, but only our hearts beating, atoms bumping into each other, stars imploding on each other and all other such things we can't touch but understand, in our own little ways. Open your eyes and connect with me, because its all that matters, it's all that ever mattered and it's all that will matter when our bones have turned to seed fertilizer and our ideas are nothing but a whispered breeze in the eardrum of a deer.