I think I did nothing but play guitar all weekend. And sleep for christ's sake.
I get an average of four hours of sleep a night, seven days a week. However,
I slept sixteen hours within a 24 hour time frame! That's more than I usually sleep in FOUR DAYS! Rob says it happened because I never sleep but I just could not stay awake.
The cold makes me hibernate. It's the bear in me.
The point of all this rambling (not that there really is one) is that during one of these sleep spells, I had a dream that my guitar was broken. This made me very very sad. People who are familiar with the more recent day-to-day Jo know that I probably play guitar more than I do anything else at home. It is probably the one object that gives me the greatest source of comfort. I'm not saying I'm good at it, because I'm not... but I do play it the better part of three hours a day. Someone captioned under a picture of them playing guitar, "The best cure for loneliness". Amen to that!
I don't really feel too lonely that I know of. I'm feeling about 80% satisfied, and constantly optimistic. But I do think about guitar a lot. I remember I wrote a quote down from Toben about five years ago:
Me: "How was your nap?"
Tobe: "I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I kept thinking about guitar."
I didn't really understand and thought it was silly, but now I know what he meant. Tunes are going through my head constantly. I feel like I've activated an area of my brain that has gone unelaborated for some time and it's really nice to cultivate it.
I know it will heighten my perception of everything else, just like every new thing I learn does. I'm very excited to see how it will influence how I carry out my thoughts and actions as I develop.
There's a familiar pattern in the way things are related to one another and how they function in harmony. I was talking about it in some other thing, which I tend to do. I think it's called universal theory if you want to get all academic about it. But it seems like everyone has an inherent understanding of the way things are related. It becomes apparent very time you come up with a functional metaphor for something. I do this a lot... the example that comes to mind is watching traffic from an ascending airplane, and having an understanding of the flow and rhythm of it because it all moves the way that blood pumps through our veins.
So everytime you learn something new, you see everything in a different light. I learned a lot about the way the body communicates with itself and processes information when I was in school. Learning about things like the way cells communicate each other to form a functioning organism gave me another way to understand the way that harmony (or I guess disharmony) occurs in all living systems and the systems living things create (i.e.- this goddamn society). I really like the field I work in (integrative physiology) for that reason.
I always notice patterns that reflect biological systems. The metaphors are endless. especially with concepts like homeostasis and maintaining disequilibrium
For example, it takes a lot of energy to maintain an ionic gradient across a cell membrane so that the influx toward equilibrium when potassium chloride channels open along the axon of a neuron can be an instantaneous and efficient action. This makes me think of all sorts of things. Like the amount of energy and discipline it takes to channel a person's potential energy into something tangible. Have you ever felt stressed and full of anxiety? I like to think of it as potential energy that I may pour, boundlessly, into anything. I think of anxiety as your body's way of saying "Please make something amazing!" And to this, I say, I will certainly try.
There are other things like how proteins that mechanically perform a specific function are a lot like workers in a society, also in that they become denatured (fall apart...basically) if the environment becomes unideal in any way (too much heat.... too acidic/basic.... presence of enzymes that break it down)... and how equilibrium comes to a cell in death, finally dispersing all its potential energy and dissociating its physical elements so that they can come together into reform into other functioning systems.... and so on. I guess I could go on about this a lot, in a lot of different directions... but I ramble because I get all excited and overwhelmed and can't explain myself clearly. I'll stop now before I hurt myself.
Anyway on a somewhat unrelated note, try this: I'm sure you've done it before, but go to a place where a lot of people are talking at once and listen to the waves and fluctuations in pitch and volume. It's really fascinating. There's a rhythm to it, and bet if you recorded it it would somehow resemble the pattern of billions of simulteously firing neurons within a given time frame.
I was going to write about how I had a dream that my guitar was very very broken, but it's not REALLY broken so fuckit. I just bumped into some random narrative and I don't give a shit
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