7/20/06 - Maui Flux

things are changing and constantly in flux it seems... a little Maui switcheroo.

The guests from Shangri La are just about all gone; Oleg left yesterday, and BB leaves today... Sophia's flight is noon-ish later today, too- so we're losing three of the characters in our little play.

Yesterday was jubilant, in spite of the fact that I've been pretty sick for the past few days (sick in Maui? I know, it's strange). Le Fleur came by to give Willem a massage for his fucked up back, and Roman and his pretty girlfriend came by to hike down to the waterfall for a fresh water dip, and then to the ocean for a saltwater one. Since I was incapacitated I stayed resting under the bamboo shade in a lounging chair, talking to Daniel. Daniel's leaving in a week, which makes me pretty sad because we've all become very close in the time that I've been here, like a family, so it will be like losing a member of the family. He's not moving that far, to Pukalani, but we surely won't see him very often, since our lives pretty much revolve around the Bamboo Farm.

We all played Jungle Ball with a bamboo stick for a bat, the ball Amanda and I made during the Container Shuffle, and a handful of people with no set team. We all drank coconut champagne (sometimes the coconuts are sweet and effervescent) and ate chocolate and kona mud pie ice cream that Amanda and Daniel brought back from town. Played chess with Jess, and Sophia gave me a beautiful belly-dancing sash (the most beautiful, really) because she "wanted me to keep dancing".

The prospect of a job in Boston as a financial advisor carries a little bit of conflict. I like my life here a lot (of course) and I can't think of a more stark contrast between two places and situations; having no money in paradise and living in a tropical climate with friends, or moving to Boston alone to train for a sound job with a good boss that makes a minimum of 60K/year- a company car, paid-for housing... and promise for a comfortable, 'normal' life... as long as I make the reasonably long-term commitment to stay with the firm.

The job sounds good. Sometimes I dream of a place to call my own, maybe a kitty, a nice library of books, the comfort of not having to worry about whether I have enough money to eat, or pay bills (not that I worry much about that).

It's really just a question of whether I'm ready for that... I'd have to say 'no, not yet', but it's not every day an opportunity like this arises, and it's true I've always had significant money problems which could be eradicated within a few years of working with the firm (whose work is good, and worth my time anyway). Not to mention a good income facilitates future travels. Time, like everything else, is relative.

Anyway. I'm tired of thinking about it. I promised I would give my mind a rest about it for a day or so.

Amanda and Willem are at odds, which makes the home situation a little awkward for everybody, not that it's anyone's fault. Amanda's been talking about leaving Kutira's land, but I think it mostly has to do with her not wanting to deal with the awkwardness of the situation.

So, no more happy, joyful Willem... Amanda seems uncomfortable, Sophia's leaving, Oleg and BB are gone, I'm sick, Daniel's leaving in a week, a new boy (named Nick... hmm...) from Austin is coming the day Daniel leaves, Kutira arriving on Tuesday. Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges.

On the other side of things I've become familiar with many of the people on Maui and (dare I say?) have sort of a 'crew' now. Briefly had relations with this guy named Will, who is a sweet person, but as usual I prefer to fly solo... not because of him, but because I am really just feeling "Josephine as a single unit". I am happy with that, but I feel bad when a person wants to hang out all the time and I realize I don't have energy I'm willing to devote to another person right now. I should be more considerate.

Feeling a little better today. Still a little sick, but ready to start working again... it's so funny. We've brought ourselves literally to the point of 'tears of joy' and suddenly things are getting shaken up, by the winds or the changing tides, or perhaps by some subconscious drive towards something less homogenous than pure bliss. I really like all of it, makes for a healthy dose of tension, I think. What's in store for us in the coming weeks? I don't know, I don't know!

...and I can't wait.